Episode 19: How can we connect to ourselves, to others, and to Nature? with Christina Echevarria

Do you feel that you are truly connected to yourself, to others, and to Nature? What does it mean to suffer from ‘nature deficit disorder’? How can we use ancient rituals such as tea ceremonies and sharing circles to bring about a more connected, conscious world?

ChristinaChristina Echevarria, MSc is a Transformational Mentor, Breathworker and Ceremonialist based in St. Petersburg, Florida. She is devoted to serving her community (virtually and locally) in ways that empower embodied awakening, heart-centered transformation, holistic healing, and authentic connections to ourselves, to others and to the Earth. I met her during our MSc course, where we were two of the only people who seemed to recognise the importance of spending time in nature for our overall wellbeing.

In this episode, we delve into everything from heart-opening cacao ceremonies to how we can help society to face the existential crisis presented by the latest climate science. We discuss the importance of rituals and rites to bring us in line with others and ourselves, and emphasise how vital it is that we are able to recognise that we are part of nature.

Listen here: http://thewayweconnect.buzzsprout.com/160260/1796407-how-can-we-connect-to-ourselves-to-others-and-to-nature-with-christina-echevarria 

Resources:

Christina’s website Stellar Shift – https://www.thestellarshift.com/

My MSc thesis – 30 Minutes in Nature a Day Can Increase Mood, Well-Being, Meaning in Life and Mindfulness: Effects of a Pilot Programme

Article – Children spend half the time playing outside than their parents did
Article – 3/4 of UK children spend less time outdoors than prison inmates
Article – People spend most of their waking hours staring at screens

Book – Richard Louv – Last Child in the Woods

Article: 10,000 – 100,000 species going extinct every year

Article – It’s official, spending time in nature is good for you

I also recommend Project Wild Thing, a documentary I was a *tiny* bit involved with back in 2015 (I helped them get a couple of screenings in Welsh cinemas) – https://www.thewildnetwork.com/inspiration/project-wild-thing

Episode 16: Have you ever been Ghosted? – with Leah Marshall

What is ghosting? Why do people do it? And, perhaps more importantly, if you’ve been ghosted – how do you move on from the experience and evolve?

Leah Marshall Headshot AJ Kane.jpg


My guest, Leah Marshall, is the founder and leader of the Esther Perel Discussion Group on Facebook, a global community of over 6,000 members who come together in person and online to discuss relationships, sex, dating, desire, and infidelity.

In this episode, we talk about Leah’s experiences with ghosting, how one was a massive springboard for her own growth and evolution, and the critical piece that’s missing from so many dating experts’ advice on ghosting. Leah has authored dating and relationship content for media outlets including YourTango, ManTalks, Mend, Daily Urbanista, and more.

It’s so easy to wear the cosy cloak of victimhood and say “I was ghosted!” – but I think there are so many moments in a relationship where if we examine them, we see the role that we created the dynamic for that to happen” Leah, Episode 16, The Way We Connect 

Listen here: http://thewayweconnect.buzzsprout.com/160260/1438330-have-you-ever-been-ghosted-with-leah-marshall 

Resources:

You can connect with Leah on Instagram at @msleahmarshall, through her blog ahttps://leapcastlife.wordpress.com/, and in the Esther Perel Discussion Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/793115204193690/.

An article by Leah: “GHOSTED: 10 Lessons That Made The Heartache Worth It on Medium.com

Video: What Psychologists Can Tell You About Ghosting 

Article (Psychology Today): This is Why Ghosting Hurts So Much

Destiny vs Growth mindsets and attitudes to ghosting –Franiuk, R., Cohen, D., & Pomerantz, E. M. (2002). Implicit theories of relationships: Implications for relationship satisfaction and longevity. Personal Relationships, 9(4), 345-367.

Why People Ghost – LeFebvre, L. E., Allen, M., Rasner, R. D., Garstad, S., Wilms, A., & Parrish, C. (2019). Ghosting in emerging adults’ romantic relationships: The digital dissolution disappearance strategy. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 0276236618820519.

Episode 11: Compatibility (Part 3) – Does it just happen, or is it carefully built?

Is compatibility something that just happens to us, or do we have to carefully construct and build it over time? Can we tell straight away how happy we might be with someone? If we are right for each other, should it always be plain sailing or does it require constant conscious effort?

A Valentine’s Day poll from the university of Monmouth polling institute in 2017 found that ⅔ of US Americans believe in Soul Mates.

In this episode, we talk to Luiz + Barbara, a couple who have been together for ten years and consider themselves the world’s happiest couple. But it wasn’t love at first sight – their connection grew slowly over time, and their happiness takes conscious effort and work. We talk to them about how they got together, what keeps them together and explore whether an initial ‘spark’ of attraction is really the best indicator of a successful long-term relationship.

Listen to the episode here: http://thewayweconnect.buzzsprout.com/160260/1122698-compatibility-part-3-does-it-just-happen-or-is-it-carefully-built 

Resources:

University of Monmouth study about beliefs in soulmates: https://www.monmouth.edu/polling-institute/reports/MonmouthPoll_US_020917/

Less That One – find out the statistical probability of finding your soul mate: http://www.lessthanone.com/ 

Barbara J Wilson – From Love at First Sight to Soul Mate: The Influence of Romantic Ideals in Popular Films on Young People’s Beliefs about Relationships – https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03637751.2013.776697

Books mentioned:

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Essentialism by Greg McKewon

Episode 10: Who says we need soul mates anyway?

What if there isn’t somebody out there for all of us? What if there are multiple people, or – more radically – what if focusing on finding one romantic partner for life is stopping us from experiencing the full potential of our friendships, talents, or careers? What does it look like to shift the paradigm away from searching for the right person?

In this episode, I talk to two fascinating people. The first, Rowen Bridler – singer, actress and author of Love Poems for People Who Don’t Like Being in Love,  talks to us about why she thinks people get so obsessed with finding a partner, getting married, and settling down, and about what it means to be a woman in your 40’s who doesn’t fit into society’s expectations. We discuss the lack of positive role models for women who choose not to have children or conform to a ‘typical’ lifestyle, and what life can look like when you choose to focus on excitement, pleasure, adventure, and developing yourself.

Then we talk to Natalie, who discusses what it means to be non-monogamous, demi-sexual and a relationship anarchist. Natalie is not looking for ‘the One’, but has their sexual, romantic and platonic needs met by a constellation of like-minded friends. We ask why do people feel that they have to spend their lives with just one person? Can’t things be different?

While this is likely to be a controversial episode for those with deep-set beliefs about finding love, marriage, monogamy or commitment, it is also a refreshing look at alternative lifestyles. What can life look like if we free ourselves of the idea that we are somehow a failure if we don’t settle down for life with one perfect partner?

Listen to the episode here: http://thewayweconnect.buzzsprout.com/160260/1060853-compatibility-part-2-who-says-we-need-soul-mates-anyway 

Resources:

Rowen’s website: https://dontlikebeinginlove.com/

Childless & Childfree Role Models – after Rowen’s comments that we lack positive female childfree role models, I found this!

The Ethical Slut (Referenced in the episode): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut – a great book not only for people exploring polyamory/non-monogamy but for relationship communication advice in general

The Relationship Anarchy Manifesto – https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

 

 

Episode 9: The never-ending search for “the One”

Is our true soul mate out there? Do we need to find them or can we be perfectly happy by ourselves? How do we know when we’ve found the right person?

In this three-part series, we explore questions of compatibility, monogamy, and look at alternatives to the usual story of “meet person, fall in love, live happily ever after”.

Plato used to look at romantic love with skepticism, even horror, and yet today it seems that we are obsessed with romantic love and sex. While marriage was once a financial necessity or a way of ensuring peace between families or nations, we now live in the romantic dream that somewhere out there we can find a person who will complement and complete us in every day. We are bombarded with messages in songs, movies, books and magazines about sex, attraction, romance and finding true love – how are we supposed to feel complete when we are single in a world that focuses so much on pairing up?

In part 1, Louise shares with us her trials and tribulations in love. She’s had ups and downs, with stories both tragic and comic, but she remains positive that the right person is out there for her. Join Lis & Gwen in this frank, open discussion about dating, love, sex, and discuss what it means to be comfortable in your own skin without needing a partner to validate you.

Listen to the episode here: http://thewayweconnect.buzzsprout.com/160260/1037402-compatibility-part-1-the-never-ending-search-for-the-one 

Mentioned in this episode:

The Love Song for Shu-Sin – perhaps the oldest love poem? 

Dr Carol Dweck’s Growth vs Fixed mindsets 

Also worth checking out:

A Brief History of Romantic Love (and why it kind of sucks) – Mark Manson